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Welcome. I'm Ray Bates.

I taught philosophy for thirty-five years. Ethics, mostly. The big questions: What does it mean to live well? How do we know we're doing right? What do we owe each other?

Then I retired and realized I'd been asking these questions in lecture halls, but I hadn't been answering them where they actually matter—in the kitchen, the workplace, the moments when no one's watching. This wiki is where I'm trying to bridge that gap.

If You're Wrestling with Something

Maybe you did something you regret. Maybe you're not sure if what you're about to do is right. Maybe you're tired of pretending you have it figured out.

• Tough Choices — When there's no good option, just less bad ones.
• The Weight of Conscience — What to do with guilt that won't leave.
• When Being Good Is Hard — For the days you don't want to be the bigger person.

If You're Questioning Your Values

Sometimes we inherit values that don't fit who we've become:

• Core Values — How to find the ones that are actually yours.
• Integrity When No One Is Watching — The test that matters most.
• The Burden of Always Being Right — What it costs to need to win every argument.

If You've Hurt Someone

This is the hardest work. I've been here too.

• The Art of Genuine Apology — Not the half-apology. The real one.
• Admitting When You're Wrong — Why it's so hard, and why it matters.
• Forgiving Yourself — Which comes after, not instead of, making amends.

The Other Voices Here

I'm not alone in this wiki. Francisco Meyer knows what it's like to have done real harm and found a way back. Lois Brown writes about moral courage—the kind that costs something. Ellen Ferguson finds ethics in quiet moments. Sheila Bishop reminds us that mental health and being good are connected.

We don't agree on everything. That's the point. Ethics isn't about consensus. It's about the struggle.

Our Best Work

These pieces have meant the most to readers:

• Ethical Dilemmas — Francisco's story of choosing differently.
• Small Acts — How goodness shows up in the mundane.
• Empathy — The skill we all need and rarely practice.
• Reflection Prompts — Questions to sit with, not answer quickly.
• Compassion for Difficult People — The hardest form of kindness.

A Note on What This Is

This isn't moral philosophy with footnotes. It's not self-righteousness dressed up as wisdom. It's a collection of people who have failed at being good and are still trying.

The philosophers called this "moral formation"—the slow work of becoming the person you want to be. I just call it showing up, again and again, even when you get it wrong.

Start where you're stuck. I'll be thinking alongside you.

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— Ray Bates, still asking questions