Speaking Your Truth

The Power of 'No' (It Wasn't Even a Big Deal)

Let me be direct: My biggest win this week wasn’t a promotion or a big boundary set with a demanding client. It was saying no to a colleague’s request for a “quick” email edit on a non-urgent project.

Context? After my burnout, I’d become a yes-person again—proof I was “recovered.” I’d say “Sure!” to anything, even when my calendar was full, because I still believed saying no meant I was failing. I’d cancel my daughter’s piano practice to fix a typo for someone else. I learned this the hard way: saying yes to everything is how you end up paralyzed in bed for a year.

So when my colleague asked, “Could you just tweak this email for me? Five minutes?” I felt the old panic rise. They need me. I’m fine. I can handle it. But this time, I paused. I looked at my actual calendar—full of actual work, actual time with my twins. And I said, “I can’t take this on right now. My plate’s full.”

It was so small. So simple. No grand speech. Just a quiet, clear refusal.

Why it mattered? Because I didn’t feel guilty afterward. I didn’t spend the afternoon ruminating about how I’d let them down. I didn’t cancel my kid’s activity to “make up” for it. I just… let it go. The email sat. The world didn’t end.

What it proved? Boundaries aren’t about dramatic standoffs. They’re about choosing yourself in the tiny moments. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present. For my work. For my kids. For the quiet space I finally reclaimed.

This win wasn’t about the email. It was about realizing I’m not the person who needs to say yes to everything to be worthy. I’m the person who knows when to say no, even when it’s not a big deal.

— Tracy Carlson, drawing the line